{Ep. 27} The Rant Episode

Thanks for being here.

For years I've been trying to nail my messaging.

For years I've been dancing around the point.

Today, that changed.

This is the moment I got it out.

It's no longer trapped inside me!

I was scared.

I'm not anymore.

I hope you enjoy.

Feels like I'm finally... just getting started!

Love becoming, Lucy 

TRANSCRIPT

“Welcome to the Activate Now Podcast. I'm your host, Lucy Colangelo. And today, I go on a rant.

So let's not waste another second. Let's dive right in. Okay, so it all starts off this morning, early in the morning. And I just, I felt different and I felt like recording my thoughts. Let's listen in. 

It's creating a distinction between growing up and getting educated.

Too many parents are getting those two things confused, and it is not helping our young people. 

Then it became... 

Another way to say this is that you're grown up once you're educated.

A lot of people think that way. They're like, oh, they're still in school. Don't stress them out.

They shouldn't have a job. Oh, no, no, I don't want them to do this. I don't want them to do that.

They should just focus on their studies, this and that. They're not developing critical life skills, if all it's about is the grades they're getting in classes.

And a few hours later, I recorded this. 

So what are those skills? What is it that we're missing?

It's really important that we explore that for ourselves. I remember, I think I was 20, maybe 22. And I had this realization that all this personal development work that I was curious about was always there, and none of the grownups in my life were talking about it.

And I shouldn't say none. There were actually two people. I had a teacher in grade eight, and I had two librarians that I could talk to about these things.

And they always took me to the personal development section of the library. And I mean, I'm pretty sure that, like, I well… I read all the books in that section.

I'm certain of that because I chewed through books like crazy when I was that age. But I remember, skipping forward across time from high school and then adulthood. And sitting there, and I was talking with a friend, and he was saying, this is the only work that matters, knowing yourself, knowing what to do with your life.

And people don't know what to do with their life, this beautiful gift, this precious gift. What are they supposed to do? And I'm recording this today.

I felt like hitting the button and recording, because I have been holding back on saying these things this way. And I think that I was struggling to articulate it because it is like a wound, but I can't put my finger on, well, what's the wound? What was the experience?

It was kind of like a wound of omission, if that makes any sense. It's like you grow up, you go through your teen years, and no one talks about this. And if they do, it's in a context or in an approach that's not landing.

And so, of course, who knows if my approach will land, but it's important for me to articulate that this is the point of why I'm doing it. I am looking to connect and articulate, okay, if you are aware, if you are becoming aware that you are more than just the sum of the things you do day to day, and you are more than just the grades you get in class when you're in high school, that your life is more richer and dynamic when you focus on the bigger picture and get to know the world, get to know what is happening on our planet here. 

How can you help?

What are you here to offer? 

What are your gifts? 

How will you do that?

I mean, we need to be in that conversation. 

We need to be gently guiding our young people through that, that awakening, that self-awareness, that nurturing of that self-awareness. Otherwise, it doesn't happen.

And I've met those grown-ups, and they suck. 

I don't know how else to say it. 

And their kids suffer.

Their kids suffer because there isn't that depth. 

It's just, no, there's nothing to you. There's nothing interesting or important.

It's just try to keep up, try to do well in school, so you can go and do more school, and that's supposed to land you some sort of a career. I don't know if it matters that you care about that career, but if you've got the grades, you've got to go for the hardest, highest thing. 

I've met those people.

It's exhausting. It's difficult to be around. It's not an energy that feels good.

It's not an energy that is about the future and creating it in a positive perspective. 

I don't know. Now I feel like I'm in a rant, and this isn't cool, but it's what it is.

It's how I feel, and I feel like recording it, because I don't know. It's enough of the gentle, nurturing talk. 

People aren't waking up to this stuff, and the sad fact is that kids are struggling.

Kids are suffering. 

Kids are aware that something's missing in the equation, and we're not doing anything. We're not illuminating this for them.”

And so that's what I'm here to do. Probably the best way to describe it is that I'm like that flashlight. 

I'm trying to illuminate the path forward.

And it's not like a one-size-fits-all thing. 

You know, it's just that this work exists, and our young people need to be aware of it and empowered to get curious about who they are, get into discovery, and see what comes up for them and be encouraged. 

My God, like, we need more of that in this world.

We need more encouragement. We need more love. We need more confidence.

I mean, this is worth doing. It's worth doing. The person that you love, that you're thinking of right now, when you're listening to what I'm saying, deserves to hear that their life matters, that who they are in their heart, and that expression of that is their highest contribution.

You know? Like, it's just really sad. Read the news.

Look at the news. Look at the stories coming out. Get caught up on how things are going for our young people and what's happening with them.

The level of dropout in life, in wanting to engage and just create some sort of connection, everyone's checked out. And, you know, like, you can have your moments of checking out. You can do your little scrolling thing and be amused and entertained.

I mean, we've always had that. We've always had, okay, at one point in history, it was, I don't know, what was it? The radio, the newspaper.

You disappear into a world. You know, you can't really quantify the value of that, but time passes and you may have enjoyed yourself. Then the TV came along and all this technology, and now we're in this state where we're so entertained that we lose connection because too much time passes.

And there is an aspect to the work that I do that literally can save a young person a decade. The lost decade of their life would be this time where all this beautiful discovery and exploration of who they could become in this world, all through high school, into college years, like if that's not the conversation, I don't know what the point is, but when it's not that conversation, young people grow up into young adults, then they're in their early 20s, mid 20s, even in their 30s, and they're realizing, wait a second, is this all there is? And that's kind of unfair.

I'm here to speak up about that, and I see that pattern, and there's aspects of this that I've been very keenly aware of since I was 12 years old and had those conversations with my teachers and my librarians, and that was rich, deep, meaningful conversation for me, and I can't overstate the value and impact it had on my life. I think it was the birthplace of my self-confidence. 

There's many things in my life, like my parents were absolutely wonderful. They loved me. I knew that I always felt loved, I always felt supported, but I wasn't in this conversation about, hey, who do you want to be? It was more about like, get those grades, get this, get that, and that's well-meaning and loving to be encouraged to bring that academic mind forward if you've got those gifts and strengths.

But there's some people that school is just not for them, and they feel like they don't have anything to offer, and that's just a tragedy. It's a tragedy that gets me really angry, and I'm trying to use nice language here, polite language. It's not, growing up doesn't need to feel like that.

Growing up, I mean, it gets the job done in some aspects, but we can do better. I think anyone would agree with me that we can be doing better with our young people, and the level of encouragement, the level of confidence that we as adults have to have when we look at our young people and say, you know what? You probably know better than we do.

I tell young people all the time, I tell them the grownups don't know what they're doing and that we need them. And they laugh, but they look terrified at the same time. And I'm just like, we're all terrified.

We don't know, you know? And I mean, the last few years have shown us that, that we as a community, a global community, even have to find our way through really hard stuff. And the answers aren't always easy, and they're not always clear.

And so, I mean, we have to decide who we are in those moments, and are we about finding the solution and support, or are we about other things? So, yeah, I don't know. I just felt like recording this, because the energy right now that's moving through me is pretty intense and pretty angry.

And I'm impatient with myself. I'm angry with myself that it's taken me this long. But yeah, we need to be doing better.

We need to be in a bigger conversation, a discovery conversation, an exploring conversation about what our young people have to offer and who they are here to become and how we're going to support them in that. And stop with this whole thing about knowing, knowing the answers, being sure. You're...

That's the worst way to approach these things. We are constantly in a state of figuring things out. We have to admit that.

Knowing is not a badge of honor. Being so certain and sure. I mean, it's not the goal.

Because if that's the goal and you get it wrong, you're out. You're out of the game. And you won't develop those skills of resilience, adaptability.

You'll check out. And it might take you a little... You might lose time in that regard also, because you get knocked down.

And it's like, wait a second, this isn't what I thought it was going to be. Well, a lot of things aren't what we think they're going to be. And they evolve and grow in different directions.

And, you know, that can happen. Selling certainty is a problem for me. You know, I'm on the side of selling, hey, you know what? We trust ourselves and we can figure it out. 

And if we're right, that's great. Enjoy those moments, work those moments, work them to your full advantage. Take full advantage of that, of course. And keep going and keep your eyes wide open, right? And I feel like in that empowerment, there is this sense of calm and ease that comes over you because like, wait, I actually get the game now.

I'm not supposed to get it right all the time, so it's okay. I kind of missed on that one. You know, like there's a forgiveness and a grace that comes in.

And then absolutely, I'm going to end on this, that you can have a lot of fun. You can have a lot of fun when you don't put that pressure on yourself to be perfect and get it right and that feeling of unworthiness when you miss slightly, you know. There's so much more joy, so much more fun to be had in that journey, that exploration, that discovery, experimentation.

You try this, you try that. I mean, I'm deep in those conversations, encouraging young people to get to know the world, get to know what they care about, get to know what they believe they can help with, help improve, help make something better. It's a great place to be.

And yeah, of course, there's those terrified looks of, I'm on shaky ground. I don't know what's happening. And we have to be joyful and fun and positive about, well, that's the name of the game, and it's awesome, and you got this, you know?

So for now, I just had to capture this rant because I mean, it hasn't been easy to land on a message that people will listen to.

You know, I really want to invite you, I call you, I challenge you to please think about whether you're doing that in your life with your young people. Are you doing the thing where you're putting all the eggs in that basket of education and saying, that's the growing up experience? You're a grown up once you're educated.

Is that true? To what degree and where are the gaps? I'm here to explore those gaps, so that our young people land on tracks and trajectories where the education that they're pursuing is in alignment with who they are becoming, who they have a desire and a passion to become.

That's where their greatest gifts will be offered, and the world will really benefit. So please take a chance, think about what you're doing when it comes to the message you're sending, and think about what it's like to live your life activated and fired up and excited and passionate. You want that.

You want that for your kids. You want that for the planet. You want people that are coming alive.

So thank you for listening. Thank you for staying till the end. This is probably my first of many rants to come in the future.

This is the Activate Now podcast, and I'm so glad you're here. Thanks for listening.

Okay, so that's me. That is what came up. Tell me how you feel in the comments.

If you want to hear more, I am feeling like there's going to be more for sure. Hit that subscribe button, and there is a master class available on the website if you want to go deeper into these topics."