The Best Method for Teaching Kids Responsibility
Feb 12, 2021
My answer to parents is always the same when talking about teaching kids responsibility because it seems to me like a valuable piece of a feedback loop is missing. Yes, our kids need our help and guidance, that's half of it. The other half involves leaning back and listening to them. Let them take the lead. Let them practice leading responsibly in their own life, especially in those teen years. Have them share the breakdown of their decision making with you and let them take responsibility for what they plan to do next.
There's this incredible chance to get to know our kids and what they’re all about. Oftentimes, we squander that opportunity. So when it comes to helping them develop their resilience in the face of disappointment or trying to do things to build their confidence because they don’t feel good enough we need to help yes, but stay on the periphery of their decision making. I believe they won’t win if they don’t have a chance to practice their independence. I recommend that we follow their weird. (Side note: As a noun, weird, it means fate and destiny!)
Simply put, believe in their wildest dreams and let their passions lead the way. We simply cannot know what they are capable of if they aren’t given a chance to show us.
“Practice empowering your child to take responsibility when making decisions and in that experience, they will build their self-esteem.”
Along the way, there’s an opportunity to explore. Practice empowering your child to take responsibility when making decisions and in that experience, they will build their self-esteem. How can you support your child’s decision making? Put them in the driver’s seat.
Whenever you let kids lead, you’ll be amazed at what they can do. You'll see first hand how they figure things out. The more chances they have to practice leading in their own lives, the more their confidence grows. Then, as you keep building on these experiences, you'll start to see who they are becoming.
HOT TIP: Be aware of your effect on them.
Notice if you’ve given them the emotional permission to made decisions, to lead, to really take responsibility? They’ll be scanning and picking up on the subtlest cues to test if you’re really on their side. For this to really work, you have to be cheering them on. It really takes something to get out of their way. Then just being interested in whatever lights them up will help them blossom and grow into confident, capable and responsible young adults. After that the sky’s the limit!
9 Questions to Lead You in Teaching Kids Responsibility
- Does your child feel free to express themselves?
- What are their strengths, talents, gifted abilities, and skills, as they understand them today?
- Do you know what their dreams, passions, interests, and desires are for life?
- Does your child share the same definition of success as you?
- Do they have the same level of ambition as you?
- Have you taken the time to learn what enlivens and inspires them?
- Do you know who they want to become in this world?
- Do you know what motivates them?
- What are they eager to do in this world?
Even a decision as simple as, what shoes to wear or what you should have for dinner is an opportunity for them to practice creating their life. You want to create that opportunity for them every chance you can.
While writing this post, this article came across my feed. Would you talk about timing!
The idea that we let child passions lead the way, is reaching our education system. To really maximize the greatness and potential of our kids, we need to be nurturing and supporting them from a very young age to take the lead.
If you're reading this and feel you agree. That's great! Our ShineOn™ Family Circle welcomes you into these conversations. We believe in cultivating our children’s greatness and potential. We hope you’ll join us, in the meantime, the best place to get started, is the conversations you're having with your kids. Ask them some of the questions above and you'll instantly start to strengthen your feedback loop by giving them the attention and nurturing, they crave.
We are committed to bringing you more guidance and support around how to have these conversations and also have fun in the process.
Another great place to start is with our parent guide:
Conversations in Greatness and Potential.
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